Things I Have Learned, Part 5

As 2013 draws to a close, I will be posting a five part series of things that I’ve learned from the past year or so through my own experiences, or observing the experiences of my friends and family. 

Let’s just say it’s been educational. 

  1. Mr. Not-Right-Now is totally a thing, but it doesn’t take much to make him Mr. Wrong.
  2. Appearances aren’t everything, but the right outfit can change your whole outlook.
  3. It’s awkward, but let people set you up.
  4. You need to go grocery shopping on at least a semi-regular basis. You’re an adult, you can’t just eat peanut butter toast or instant oatmeal three times a day.
  5. It’s okay to make the first move.
  6. The successes of others do not diminish yours in any way, so be genuinely happy for them.
  7. You will never please everyone. Don’t waste your energy trying.
  8. Statistically speaking, first impressions are crucial. It takes thirteen positive interactions with someone to counteract one negative interaction.
  9. Never be the drunkest person at the party.
  10. It seems straight forward, but always spend less than you make. Even if it’s $10 less.
  11. People may not remember what you did or what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.
  12. Make a point to take care of your friendships before they need repairing.
  13. Don’t rush into anything. Take time to assess the situation, understand the risks, and breathe.
  14. Eat your peas. They’re good for you.
  15. Ask questions. It shows that you’re interested and can take initiative, and they break any awkward silence.
  16. It’s okay to fake it until you make it. Unless you’re faking medical knowledge. That’s probably illegal.
  17. Have dreams, and work towards achieving them, even if it’s only a little bit at a time.
  18. Take small victories where you can get them.
  19. It’s critical to take control of your emotions before they take control of you.
  20. An insane person will do the same thing over and over and expect different results. So will a drunk person.
  21. Counting your blessings and everything you have to be thankful for is an instant cure to a pity party.
  22. Sometimes you have to accept no as an answer.
  23. It’s ok to not know what you’re doing.
  24. You can give someone as much time and space as you possibly can, and sometimes even that’s not enough.
  25. Take the time to figure yourself out. Deal with the major overlying issues of your person, so when something traumatic happens, you’ll know what you need to do to get on with your life, like making a list of everything you’ve learned.

Happy New Year, everybody! I wish a happy and healthy 2014 to all my readers.

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Things I Have Learned, Part 4

As 2013 draws to a close, I will be posting a five part series of things that I’ve learned from the past year or so through my own experiences, or observing the experiences of my friends and family. 

Let’s just say it’s been educational. 

  1. Take one for the team every once in a while. Be the DD, take care of the tip, dance with the weird friend of the hot guy who’s hitting on your friend.
  2. If you have a really terrible date, at least it will make a really great story later.
  3. Life is too short to stay angry. Forgive people.
  4. Sometimes your attitude really does need an adjustment.
  5. If something is important to you, don’t let anyone knock it.
  6. No one is going to hand you success. You need to work hard to get what you want.
  7. Life exists outside of technology. The world won’t stop turning if you walk away from your phone for an hour.
  8. It’s just hair. It grows back.
  9. Personal choices are just that – personal. Don’t expect everyone to drop everything to accommodate your life choices. Bring your own gluten-free/organic/free-range/vegan accouterments and stop whining.
  10. “Total Eclipse of the Heart” is the perfect song for any mood or occasion.
  11. Hummus on a rosemary and olive oil bagel, green tea, lots of water, 1500mg of ibuprofen and breath mints is a solid way to cope with a hangover at work.
  12. At the very least, you need to live up to your own standards.
  13. Bobby pins have magical properties that allow them to disappear forever when you need them the most.
  14. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
  15. Everyone’s a geek about something. Don’t hide it.
  16. A legitimate reason to want a boyfriend is so he can bring you a beer and tell you you’re pretty when you do yard work.
  17. If asked for advice, give it as best you can, but be mindful of boundaries.
  18. Having cramps and being bloated needs to stop being an excuse to be a raging bitch once a month. Suck it up, take a Midol, and smile. If that’s too much to handle, commit yourself to solitary confinement for a few days.
  19. There is no point in being a grown up if you can’t be childish sometimes.
  20. Never change yourself for a guy, and never expect him to change for you.
  21. Physical activity is an excellent way to relieve stress.
  22. Being single a year out of college is not a guarantee you’re going to be single for the rest of your life. Stop bemoaning your fate of becoming a cat lady.
  23. Challenge yourself to step outside your comfort zone.
  24. Communication is everything. No one can read minds.
  25. It’s not too much to ask to want to be treated how a guy says he feels about you.

Things I Have Learned, Part 3

As 2013 draws to a close, I will be posting a five part series of things that I’ve learned from the past year or so through my own experiences, or observing the experiences of my friends and family. 

Let’s just say it’s been educational. 

  1. If someone is hurting you, say something.
  2. Feminism is the radical idea that men and women are equal and should be treated as such. Realizing you’re a feminist is not the worst thing in the world and does not mean you hate men.
  3. Gas is really expensive, but it’s less irritating if you think of it as paying for explosive liquid dinosaurs.
  4. If what people will think of you is what’s holding you back from what you need to do, those people don’t deserve to be in your life.
  5. Sometimes it’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission.
  6. Always apologize when you’re in the wrong. Never apologize for being right.
  7. Make time for people. You don’t want to look back on your life and only see what you missed out on because you were too busy.
  8. Dancing with a guy does not give him permission to stick his tongue in your mouth. Unless you want him to, in which case carry on.
  9. Ignorance is not bliss. Educate yourself. Be informed.
  10. Looks fade. Character does not.
  11. Always take the high road, and always take it with a smile.
  12. Have a back-up plan.
  13. Support your friends. They listen to you bitch, so return the favor.
  14. Have a go-to emergency internet video that will make you laugh no matter how crappy your day is.
  15. Thank your parents, and thank them often. You would be nothing without them.
  16. Stop with the slut shaming. Girls have a hard enough time without turning on each other.
  17. Life is uncertain. Enjoy today because you don’t know what will happen tomorrow.
  18. You are going to have bad days. They make the good days worth having.
  19. It’s not that exes can’t be friends, it’s just that most of them really shouldn’t.
  20. Never drink on an empty stomach.
  21. If a guy at a bar gets up to have a smoke and offers you one, he’s being polite. If you decline and he wants you to join him anyway, he wants to make out with you in an alley.
  22. It’s possible to be intelligent and have a diverse vocabulary and still swear like a bloody sailor.
  23. If you live with your parents after college there is a solid chance that all of you will revert to acting like you’re 17 years old, because that’s probably the last time you lived with your parents for an extended period of time.
  24. Being alone is a circumstance. Being lonely is a choice.
  25. Don’t make snap judgments about anyone. You have no idea what anyone else has been through or is going through.

Things I Have Learned, Part 2

As 2013 draws to a close, I will be posting a five part series of things that I’ve learned from the past year or so through my own experiences, or observing the experiences of my friends and family. 

Let’s just say it’s been educational. 

  1. Do not base your self-worth on anyone’s opinion but your own.
  2. Never say the words “how could it possibly get worse?” out loud unless you’re fully prepared to find out.
  3. There is no shame in walking away.
  4. Be polite. Be honest. Be kind. And be the delightful badass everyone knows and loves.
  5. Never leave anything unsaid. The “what if” will always be worse than any possible answer.
  6. Sometimes a lobster is nothing more than a red herring. Keep fishing.
  7. The past is a nice place to visit from time to time, but everyone has to live in the present.
  8. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. No one is entitled to force others to share said opinions.
  9. Believe in something bigger than you. Something that you will never understand. Whether it’s God or the Universe, just believe in something because when everything else fails, which is bound to happen, all you’ll have left is your faith that things will get better.
  10. You never realize how dependent you’ve become on someone until they stop talking to you.
  11. Timing is literally everything.
  12. Being picky is different than having standards.
  13. The more people you hide things from the less support you’ll have if things fall apart.
  14. Sometimes a guy’s idea of subtlety is the equivalent of writing “subtle” on a brick and throwing it through your front window.
  15. Being upset means wallowing in pity and self-loathing. Being angry means getting shit done.
  16. Never give anyone more power over you than you have over your circumstances.
  17. Revisiting old playlists from high school and college is awesome and hilarious.
  18. Always assume the best of people until they choose to be their worst selves.
  19. There’s a fine line between being loving and being controlling.
  20. You never need that last drink. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have it.
  21. You have to love yourself before you can worry about loving someone else.
  22. Make sure you know the difference between self-deprecation and self-sabotage.
  23. Always have gum or mints on you. Dragon breath doesn’t work for anyone except Smaug.
  24. There are some things that you will never fully understand or know the reasons behind. The sooner you can accept that, the sooner you can move on with your life.
  25. You are special and unique and wonderful. You are also the rule, not the exception.

Part 1